zondag 13 februari 2011

Grateful beyond words

I know it has been a while since I blogged. I still owe you an account of the amazing experiences I had when I went to the States to participate in the LiveSTRONG Challenge in Austin. The time I spend with Jody and her husband Steve which was so amazing I still can't believe two such sweet people actually exist: they made my first LSC an experience that can't be topped. The actual time in Austin, where Heidi took time out of her busy schedule to talk to me in person, meeting Doug in person and have the opportunity to talk to him a bit (and as total surprise him actually knowing who I was), being at the dinner and see and hear Lance speak: if ever inspiration came in human form, it was right there and then. Meeting dear twitter friends Erik Pearson, Henrike Hirsch, Kate, Lindsay, Matt and family. Getting to know CCC mentor and dear friend Mike Terry and his lovey daughter Katelyn, another highlight, as was seeing the CCC conference room being dedicated. All that and much more is to come. It is late but coming back things started to unfold quickly and needed all my attention (work wise).
But this blog has to be about my friends and family who just got me through one of the most difficult times post accident.
As the people following me on Twitter already know I got a bad flu at the beginning of this year: no big deal you'll think and usually it isn't. But for me the two days of vomiting and diarrhea mend that the medication that prevents the frame inside my leg to reject didn't take effect. That led to the one thing we have feared the most since having the frame put in, it started to reject. That led to all kinds of side effects which I will spare you here, suffice to say it wasn't pretty. My doc saved the day (and the leg) in the knick of time using heavy medication. This time I came with a couple of hours of actually losing my leg and it has been a long time since I was so afraid. After all that I had the misfortune to take a nasty fall in week after that, so the leg took a second beating.

And that brings me to the reason of this blog: my amazing friends and family stepping up and pulling me through. I gained 10 kg due to the medication and although I know that is not something that will kill me, I worked so hard to loose 33 kg before the Challenge and now this. Friends understood it was hard on me and tried to cheer me up and didn't belittle it (I KNOW it isn't a big deal). But beyond that, they made a schedule so someone could drive me to and from work work every day, did chores around the house so I wouldn't have to in my wheelchair. Jody understood how upsetting it is when I can't manage to do the 20 minute bike ride to nowhere: not just because it means I get behind on my schedule for the LSC but mostly because it means I have weakened so much I can't peddle for 20 minutes. It is not just a hobby I can't do (which in it self would be bad enough), it is essential to my health and strength I am able to do that. She didn't tell me, don't worry and don't blame yourself, take it easy, it will come back. She acknowledged the severity and gave me a place to vent that. My other fiends did the same in other ways: they know I wouldn't "complain" about it if it weren't important. They understand the importance of the bike: not "just" a hobby but a means to feel "normal" again (all of them saw me go from dancer, twirler, teacher, choreographer to a person on crutches, not even able to walk by myself. They understand it hurt a lot to loose all that without me telling them) and regain some of the freedom I lost. But they understand even better my bike is my way to fight as a LiveSTRONG Leader for the 28 million affected by cancer. Losing my strength will hinder me doing what I am most passionate about: go out and raise awareness and raise funds. It stopped me from raising funds for my Challenge but also hinders me in earning the extra cash to pay for my flight and stay this year. And all of them have been so understanding and supportive in finding ways to make up for lost time and time yet to be lost. recovery will be long and hard but that is not the point: I did that before and will do it again. It is the feeling I have people surrounding me that understand, try to find a solution with me and support me and cheer me on to reach the so important 20 minute mark. They make it possible for me to do my work, do my LiveSTRONG volunteer shifts and maybe even get to Austin again. I am the luckiest person in the world for having them.

4 opmerkingen:

  1. Annemiekeh,

    You are the most amazing woman.

    First, you were like a kid in Disneyland when you visited us in Texas. I'd never met anyone who was so happy just to "be," whether it was hanging out on the back deck to weaving through Austin traffic with me shouting and swearing at the top of my lungs. We had enough adventures to fill this blog and a few others more....perhaps forgetting the key to unlock the bikes from the car rack on the morning of the Livestrong Challenge makes the top ten list?

    Second, about your leg. I really don't think many of us on this side of the ocean understood everything you've been through -- or the stakes
    when something as seemingly "simple" (as the flu and vomitting for three days? GAH!) strikes. I've often said to you that what you live with is as threatening on some levels, as cancer and you are -- let's say - a tad of an expert in the art of understatement. I write this with all respect and love. You wrote today to express your gratitude, which is beautiful, but remember it is mutual. You go out there and livestrong like a champion each and every day.

    with love,
    Jody

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
  2. Dear Jody,
    Thank you soo much for that lovely comment. I will start filling blogs about the time I spend with you, it was awesome! Forgetting the key will definitely be in the top 10!!! We had an amazing time.
    I know I do (sometimes) have the tendency to understate what is going on but I really think about things that way. I don't think it is that special but this episode was an exception. As said, the reality hit a few days later, the understanding I came so close to losing my leg this time. At first I thought, oh well, danger gone, was lucky again and wrote about it that way. The rest hit me a couple of days later as you know. Thanking the people pulling me through is important to me, I can't do this by myself. So thank you for your support (you had enough going on as well) and this lovely comment.

    Love, Annemieke

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
  3. Great to see you back blogging again. Please keep it up xxx

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen
  4. Annemieke,
    Wow, I am sorry to say I had no idea that you were in such a bad way. You continue to amaze me and as Jody said, you have a way of understating things so I would see you on Twitter and hear mention of the flu but not realize all the very serious consequences for you.
    I am so glad you had a wonderful time in Austin. Please take good care of yourself and with your determination I know you will be riding those 20 minutes again.
    And may I say that without the bike you are STILL an amazing person who is so caring and so supportive and so determined to help people. Your compassion is the things that makes you who you are and that is BEAUTIFUL!
    Love, Deb

    BeantwoordenVerwijderen