The two reasons I chose LIVESTRONG

Today I had surgery on my ankle so I can continue to ride my bike and train for the LIVESTRONG Challenge in Austin in October. This operation will be followed by another one on my knee next week.
Before “part two” of the surgery today I sat down with my surgeon, who remembered me coming in, almost 11 years ago now.

On December 2nd 1999 I was the victim of a hit and run accident. My right leg was completely shattered from hip to ankle.

At that point no one knew how extensive the damage would prove to be. As we waited for the results of X-rays and more X-rays my surgeon saw I had a copy of “Ït’s Not About the Bike” with me (I was actually shopping for a copy when the accident happened).

We started talking about the book and the amazing performance of the man writing it, Lance Armstrong. I had always been an avid cyclist and loved to watch races. I watched this young American win his World Championship at the youngest age ever. I was shocked and saddened by the press conference in which he announced to the world he was diagnosed with cancer. Being no stranger to that (nine of my own family members have been affected by cancer) I was sure it was the last time we had seen him race. But that’s not what happened, is it?

Earlier in 1999 Lance won his first Tour de France after surviving cancer and fighting his way back to the peloton, which had been extremely difficult. I admired him for his courage and cheered him on when he won.

So on the day my world totally fell apart my surgeon and I talked about Lance, his cancer, his recovery and his amazing achievement.

Soon after the results of he X-rays came back it became very clear I would never, ever walk again. The best possible result would leave me on crutches; the worst would have me lose my leg. In the days that followed I had to come to terms with not only not being able to walk anymore but also the prospect of multiple surgeries and an even longer rehabilitation.

Coming to terms with not being able to walk, depending on crutches or a perhaps a wheelchair for the rest of my life – possibly even losing my leg --was devastating for me. I finished the high school of performing arts summa cum laude and was about to turn my hobby into a living. I was a very talented twirler, dancer, teacher and member of the jury panel of national and international twirl- and showband competitions. My life revolved around dance and in a moment my world, and everything I was hoping for, evaporated. It disappeared in front of my eyes. As my leg shattered, so did my dreams.

My doctor understood. Instead of amputating he proposed an experimental surgery that would put a frame on the shattered inside of the leg. It would take five hours of daily exercises for the rest of my life to keep my leg and I could learn to walk again on crutches. The doctor reminded me of the amazing achievement of Lance and said I should take his example to try and work my own “miracle”.

I kept “It’s Not About the Bike” by my bedside and my doctor put his picture up at my bed and in the room where I had daily rehabilitation. Lance’s story inspired me to work hard and never give up. He sure inspired me to do MY best. Since then, I’ve had many surgeries. These will continue and at this time I can walk with crutches. I still have a picture of Lance on my whiteboard and when the exercises are very painful or I just can’t walk and need to rely on a wheelchair he inspires me as he has inspired millions to do the same in their fight against cancer.

In 2008 I got the chance to “repay” Lance for his inspiration when he announced his return to pro-cycling to help spread the LIVESTRONG message globally. I jumped at the chance to become a Local LIVESTRONG Leader for two reasons: their “boss” had kept me on my feet (literally) for many years and I was passionate about the fight against cancer since it hit my family so hard. I needed an opportunity to make a difference, no matter how small. I love the message of LIVESTRONG, I totally agree with their motto: cancer doesn’t know nationalities and doesn’t stop at borders, so I joined. This is when I decided to try and do the LIVESTRONG Challenge in Austin, despite all odds.

Everyone told me I wouldn’t be able to physically accomplish this. Lance’s example showed me otherwise. He made an impressive comeback. So I pleaded with my doctor to let me try and with the help of a lot of people I started training. An incredible LIVESTRONG family grew to support and encourage me.

I joined forces with two great other Dutch LIVESTRONG leaders, Karen and Manfred in NL4LIVESTRONG and we are working hard to make LIVESTRONG a household name here in The Netherlands as well and in doing so fight the disease we detest so much. I have seen LIVESTRONG grow to a big movement in the last couple of years, it has become more than “just “Lance and that is a good thing. We need to fight cancer with everything we have and LIVESTRONG should not depend on one man.

But I differ from many people in one way. I don’t believe Lance used illegal, performance enhancing drugs. He isn’t a doper. I don’t think anyone who has endured cancer treatment would ever put anything harmful in his body to win a bike race. Lance Armstrong has always seemed like the kind of man that wouldn’t even enjoy a victory if he hadn’t won it by hard work and by kicking everyone’s butt on his own merit. He is a man who has helped millions of others LIVE because he gave them the hope, courage and example of HOW to fight cancer.

I think he deserves to have the millions he inspired stand behind him .At the very, very least, he deserves my most sincere thank you. Lance Armstrong gave me a leg to stand on. Literally. I owe him for the courage to take my life back .I will always support him for who he is.

THANK YOU LANCE !

Is it worth it?

Today I had to go to work in my wheelchair. I usually manage to avoid that, the only times I have to is right after surgery and even than I sometimes manage to do crutches instead. Today walking wasn't an option since the weekend had been very hard on my leg. Worked the usual shifts voluntering for LiveStrong on Friday and trained afterwards.
Saturdaymorning I had a lot of "runnig" around to do for our LiveSTRONg booths: bought three party tents for my team mates and myself and decided to complete my own by finding tables to put in them and lettering to put on the tent. That required more walking than I anticipated. Had to hurry to get groceries before driving to Amsterdam for a meeting with a lovely lady from the Dutch Cancer Institute/ Anthony van Leeuwehoek hospital, Pelagia de Wildt. She was a very passionate lady who told us a lot about the Institute and the hospital. Very good to hear the hospital is internationally seen as one of the best hospitals for cancer research and treatment. Karen and Manfred (my NL4LiveSTRONG teammates)and me had a small meeting of our own after that to discuss and plan LiveSTRONG Day. After that I drove back. Driving to Amsterdam is actuallty more than I can handle, so I had to stop twice on the way up and twice on the way down. Rode my bike for an hour afterwards and was totally exhausted after that. Made sure my LiveSTRONG event kit was ready for Sunday and went to bed. Sunday I rode 80 km for LiveSTRONG, so we could have a booth at the finish line. Took me three hours to complete the course and stood in the booth with my niece the rest of the day. All of that combined made it impossible for me to walk today and I had to get into that wheelchair this morning, whether I liked it or not (and I didn't). Needed to take my laptop into work and lots of papers for the first meeting of the day. I tried to figure out how to bring all that and lunch down to the car in one run. As I arrived at the meeting I was told it was relocated to another building. But as I got there I saw the doors where too small to get in without hurting my hands. To top it off we had to relocated half way through the meeting again.After I got back to my own office I got asked at least 4 times why I was in the chair and I explained. Everytime the next question was "is all that LiveSTRONG stuff worth all this"? I didn't have to think twice and said YES!!!
I got to meet extraordinary people during my voluntering shifts and hope my being there made their day a bit better. I told them, as I always do, the inspiring stories from my fellow LiveSTRONG Leaders and they help. That evening during my training ride I received message that a very nice man donated an amazing amount to my LSC, after donating to Blue Wonder and making an earlier donation to my Challenge as well. I never had the pleasure of meeting this kind soul but somehow the little I can do for LiveSTRONG makes him think this deserves encouragement. I am very grateful for his friendship. On saturday I had the pleasure of knowing the booth we will have at the passing of the Tour de France might make Lance proud when he passes it and knowing we wil reach a lot of people and tell them about the great job LiveSTRONG is doing is making me happy already. To top it off we met a great lady doing an amazing job and we might be doing some work together and I learned a lot again. Sunday we had at least 100 people visiting our booth and many of them donated to the cause. Not as much as fellow LiveSTRONG Leaders in the US make, but we always have to explain why the money also can go to a US charity so I'm proud of the donations we got. Besides that I have to admit I'm a bit proud I managed to do he 80 km ride within a reasonable amount of time (did miss my LiveSTRONG cycling outfit though). So YES, eventhough I had to be in the wheelchair today and probably will be in it tomorrow and only could do a 30 minute ride today "all that LiveSTRONG stuff is sure worth it"!

LIVESTRONG Manifesto - 60 second PSA

This is why for me it is about the (LiveStrong) bike

Honest mistake

Yesterday my physician and physical therapist came over for my scheduled testing. Every couple of weeks they come and see if I can still up the training for the LiveSTRONG Challenge in Austin. As far as I knew I stuck to my schedule that they gave me. Little did I know I misread it and overdid it with riding outdoors on Blue Wonder2. As they explained, riding outdoors, in the wind and on uneven soil, is putting a heavier load on the leg and shoulder. It was an honest mistake on my part but I damaged both leg and shoulder doing it. I ignored the increasing pain because I thought that was inevitable with the longer hours and it always subsided pretty soon (in my honest opinion). My dear friend Jody wrote me and told me that sometimes it’s not about training hard but training smart. She advised me to develop a training plan that would allow me to continue training without injury. She gave me a huge compliment for what I accomplished so far, picking me up as she always does (and giving me way too much credit, as she always does as well). I am going to tell you the same I told her.

Today I sat down with my physio the make another training schedule that slowly ups the time I ride outdoors. I’m still aiming for the 100 mile but am realistic enough to know that it MIGHT not be possible. Not giving up yet though. I knew on forehand it was going to cause more pain but it is worth it, but I'm not trying (and willing) to increase the damage to the leg and the shoulder, so I am being careful. I really didn’t know the schedule was built on riding indoors not outdoors and doing it to the max would make me overdo it. As Jody asked me if my doctor was too conservative in my opinion I told her he IS too conservative, always has been: as they suggested the procedure they did on my leg (involving the 5 hours exercise a day) he thought it might keep me on crutches for 2 or 3 years. He didn’t think I would stick to the regime so long and be able to withstand the pain as long as I have. I always think of Lance saying Pain is temporary, quitting lasts forever and the last 2 years of all you have been through and I’m sure I can keep doing the exercise for the rest of my life. So, since my doc was already surprised I’m still walking, he should know I would ride that bike to the maximum I was allowed to.

I AM coming to Austin and am so looking forward to spending time with Jody, her husband and all my LiveSTrong friends before that. I’m counting the days. Riding with Jody and all other friends will be the highlight of my Challenge, and Jody is right: I aim for the 100 but every mile we do will be a accomplishment and I will be so happy to share it with her and all of you!

I didn't mean to be stubborn to a point that I would forget my health and scared to death my doc will tell me I have to stop riding my bike because for me, it is about the (liveSTRONG) bike.

My first entry

This is my first blog entry ever and I want to explain why I felt the need to do a blog to start with later on. I will fill you in on how I came to be preparing for a 100 mile bikeride in Austin, Texas in October. But for now I just want to share with you the sensation I had this afternoon riding my bike, Blue Wonder2, fully enjoying the sun and beautiful surroundings of my hometown.

For someone who never has encountered setbacks or injury it is very hard to understand how a disability totally changes your life. I was the victim of a hit and run 11 years ago and that left me on crutches. For a person that made a part of her living out of teaching dance and twirl, that was about the worst thing that could happen to me. Stubborn as I am I refused to give up teaching completely but I went back to teaching one night a week instead of five and had to give up judging comptitions. I will get back to how I came to be on a bike this afternoon, but have to explain why it IS about the bike for me.

I keep my bike, Blue Wonder2, with me in the spare bedroom in my appartment, situated on the second floor, for two reasons. One, this beautiful bike is a gift from my LiveStrong and Cyclist Combating Cancer family and the worst thing that could happen to me is that it would get stolen or damaged. The other reason is that I need to hold on to something walking the galery and going down in the elevator to the groundfloor. I can´t take my crutches down because where would I leave them after I get on my bike?
And that is the moment the miracle starts for me, the second I get on my bike! As soon as I get on the bike and start pedalling I am FREE! No longer a disabled person, but just like anybody else who loves to ride the bike. I am still working on my average speed (not high enough) and the distance I need to cover but I ride the bike like everybody else. Today I rode for three hours, longer as I mend to do and longer as I am allowed to do but the feeling I had being out there, in the sun, enjoying the sensation of speed and not having to depend on anything else but my own body was truly breathtaking. Fellow cyclist passing me greet me and see me as one of them, not the cripple how needs to be treated with care, but just another avid cyclist. And this sensations last up to the second I arrive back home and have to get off the bike.... Than my feet literally touch the ground again.